Jeremy, meet Danica. Danica, meet Jeremy

That title just about sums up the two things I hate to talk about most when it comes to NASCAR - Jeremy Mayfield and Danica Patrick.

Last month I gave my opinion on the Danica situation, so I won't bore you by re-hashing it all again. That leaves Jeremy...don't worry, I'll make it quick.

The History: Jeremy's NASCAR-administered drug test that he took at Darlington came back positive. Jeremy got suspended. He went to court and got re-instated. Then he tested positive again, at which point he accused NASCAR of doctoring the results to incriminate him.

Oh, and then there is the whole situation with the stepmother. She filed a sworn affidavit that she witnessed Jeremy using Meth on at least 30 different occasions, and even watched him cook up his own batches (industrious young fellow), to which Jeremy responded with multiple accusations, including that Lisa (the step mom) was being bribed by NASCAR, and that she was responsible for shooting his dad (??), surrounding the whole barrage with plenty of expletives for added emphasis, of course.

Now NASCAR and Jeremy are battling it out in court - fighting over the suspension, or money...or who knows what.

Sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer, doesn't it? Well, that is pretty much what it is.

It certainly has nothing to do with racing, yet the media is obsessed; it seems like every time you check the NASCAR page on a sports website, there is a new headline about Jeremy (or Danica, if it is a slow Jeremy day).

I'm not saying I'm better than anybody else - I'm writing this right now, and last week I was asked to call in to one of my radio stations to do an entire segment on the situation, but that doesn't mean I enjoy talking about it.

I've been asked my opinion multiple times, and this is what I always say: NASCAR is not out to "get" anybody, least of all Jeremy Mayfield. They are only concerned about safety.

NASCAR hasn't released a list of 'banned' substances because there is no way they can - just about any drug can have side effects that impair the senses if taken improperly.

If they were forced to release a list, there are only two real options; they would either have to ban everything, or else they end up giving a prescription (or over-the-counter) drug abuser a free pass.

Bottom line - hopefully Jeremy shuts up, NASCAR buttons up their drug-testing procedures, and we can all go back to talking about racing again.